Living for a yr in Siberia became certain to outcomes in some laughs. There became no funnier time than my attempt to have a good time Thanksgiving.
The Set Up
As an American male, my concept of cooking became losing through the neighborhood Chinese eating place on my manner domestic from paintings. We are speaking approximately someone who considers cooking rice a culinary venture of the best order. This loss of ability got here to the leading edge whilst spending a yr coaching at a college withinside the Siberian town of Chita.
Experiencing the Russian subculture became one in all my number one motives for shifting to Siberia. Experiencing the American subculture became seemingly one of the high motives the University employed me. These conflicting view factors ended in each Russian and American vacation being celebrated, even supposing it wouldn`t were otherwise.
As the give up of November approached, I began out getting questions on Thanksgiving. My Russian friends and college students have been in particular inquisitive about the idea of Thanksgiving dinner. In flip, I began out asking reputedly harmless meals associated questions and became thrilled to research maximum of the important meals gadgets have been now no longer to be had withinside the neighborhood marketplace. This blanketed turkeys, cranberries and so on. Then I made my mistake.
Since the components weren`t to be had, I commenced to mouth off approximately the injustice of lacking Thanksgiving dinner. Oh, how I ought to prepare dinner dinner a turkey. To horrific all and sundry might leave out out on it. The ethical trifecta of justice, destiny and karma rose up to position me in my area.
The uncle of a person`s brother became flying in from Moscow. If I created a listing, he might purchase the whole thing and produce it at the flight.
I became in deep, deep trouble.
Reverting to the instances of my younger indiscretions, I right away did what all and sundry in my scenario might. I emailed my mom for assist. The first reaction became, “Very funny. You`re going to prepare dinner dinner?” After explaining the scenario, I obtained a totally lengthy listing of commands written at a 3rd grade degree. “This is a knife” and so on…
Well, the magic day got here and the whole thing went shockingly nicely. The turkey tasted like turkey. The stuffing tasted like stuffing. Heck, the cranberries even got here out pink. Then it became time for the gravy.
In Siberia, you do now no longer purchase components in pre-packaged baggage. Instead, you purchase the whole thing in a clean plastic bag without a label. In theory, you need to set up the whole thing at domestic so that you recognise what it’s miles while it comes time to prepare dinner dinner. Thus did the flour adventures once more.
Cooking commands have been examine. Turkey juices went into the pan. Instructions have been examine. Flour went into the pan. Instructions have been examine. Constant stirring became undertaken. Instructions have been examine. Water became delivered.
Feeling cocky, I then did a tasting pattern and almost choked. The gravy became pretty salty and quite chunky. I delivered greater water, however there has been no alternate. For the subsequent 20 mins, I saved including water and stirring. The gravy simply saved getting chunkier, tasted terrible and in reality commenced to smoke!
After awhile, one in all my lady college students got here into the kitchen to discover what became going on. She blanched as she tasted the gravy. We went via the commands and I made a passing connection with my suspicion the flour is probably horrific.
She took one study the flour and began out guffawing. Hysterically. She became guffawing so tough she couldn`t inform me the cause in English and my Russian became quite horrific. She recovered after a couple of minutes and gave me the English translation.
I had grabbed the stuff used to stick over holes withinside the wall, now no longer the flour. Put every other manner, I became making turkey drywall.
No surprise it became so chunky!
After the gang left, I repaired a door knob hollow in my bathroom. Thanksgiving lasted for months!